Bubble Krabby it's retro, bold, and playful, really ties together your piece to give it that retro feel. This is font perfect for designers who are looking to add a psychedelic acid graphics contemporary hand-done touch to their projects. be it posters, magazines, Instagram, Logo, Game or branding. Features : - Lowercase & Uppercase ( All Caps ) - numbers and punctuation - Alternate & Ligature - multilingual - PUA encoded Please contact us if you have any questions. Enjoy Crafting and thanks for supporting us! :) Thank you

Stereonic is a geometric display sans influenced by Art Deco style. Its 38 fonts across 5 weights offer the possibility to convey numerous moods and styles typical for different decades. As the name suggests, the music posters were considered as the perfect application for this typeface, however using it in magazines and other editorial will definitely add more style. A variety of included ligatures and alternatives will also make Stereonic a perfect choice as the base for logotypes.

This is a headline typeface for titles with a retro sensibility. The concave first projection of the vowel and the dot shape further add to the retro feel. It is characterized by the dot shape seen in the initial consonants and the thin ending strokes of 'ㄱ', 'ㅅ', and 'ㅈ' to create a flowing curve. Although it is a full module, the inner space created by the large contrast of strokes gives a cool feeling. This font contains KOREAN

Kitchen is an expressive sign painting style brush script family with three weights. Kitchen is equipped with Contextual Alternates and Ligatures that add variety to the flow and if that isn’t enough there’s Stylistic Alternates for all characters and Swash Alternates for lowercase. From the Glyph Palette you’ll also find 16 swooshes that can be used as underlines or swashes. Kitchen is an outstanding display font that works great for any display use from branding to packaging to logotype.

Jacuzzi Room is now open 24 hours day and we’ve got unlimited drinks and hors d'oeuvres available. Jacuzzi Room is a cheery script font inspired by the ubiquitous Beverly Hills Hotel sign, capturing the same gestural yet timeless quality. Have a stroll through vintage era Beverly Hills and take a dip into the Jacuzzi Room. Adds a ton of fun mid century chic flair to any design whether it be titling, headlines, signage, t-shirts book covers.

Bianca is a semi-connected script whose slim strokes, gently curving verticals, and big, beautiful capitals convey a fashionable, feminine style. Customize with over 50 alternate glyphs to add variation to your design. See what’s included! http://bit.ly/2cdTMIe *NOTE* Basic versions DO NOT include swashes, alternates or ornaments This font has been specially coded for access of all the swashes, alternates and ornaments without the need for professional design software! Info and instructions here: http://lauraworthingtontype.com/faqs/

Bold as love, Grok is a hand-drawn typeface, assertive but soft. Showy and friendly. It's an all caps font with 2 choices for each letter, accessible via keyboard upper and lower case slots. For that handcrafted look, you know. Turn on the contextual alternates feature to automatically alternate these. Grok originally comes in two cuts: bold and… less-bold :) Later the outline style was added as a gift, a free font. And finally, there's yet a nifty picture font with dozens of dingbats to beautify your words every now and then. Perfectly suited for display uses: packaging, signage, web titlings, editorial design, book covers – and not-only-covers. Grok it?

Introducing Telone font, is a san serif font that has a characteristic character that is relaxed, nice and comfortable to read, has a serious and relaxed background, making this font very flexible to answer your various needs in creative and other fields. This font brings out an exotic and fantastic impression in its application in various media designs for you. This font is perfect for games, sporting events, branding, banners, posters, movie titles, book titles, quotes, clothing, logotypes, and more. of course, your various design projects will be perfect and extraordinary if you use this font because this font is equipped with a complimentary font family, both for titles and subtitles and sentence text. start using our fonts for your amazing projects.

Old Earthy is a hand drawn font inspired by the mid 19th-century art movement with William Morris and the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood in the front line. The art and the patterns from that time is reflected in Old Earthy. It comes with a set of basic English/Latin letters and some west European diacritics.

Northills Font This pair was inspired by the great lettering poster design that i saw on some coffee shop, It was crafted by hand specially to add natural handmade feeling in its brand identity than i make it clean with pentool. Opentype features Northills font has 215 character set Northills is very good looking in labels, retro logo design, product packaging, invitations, advertising and others. Rough lettering is always have a good retro vibes and give your design authentic and good looking, it’s perfect for branding or even poster design. If you looking for rough retro font for your logo or even lettering design, this font is a great choice to make your design authentic and good looking This fonts works with folowing languages: Afrikaans, Albanian, Asu, Basque, Bemba, Bena, Chiga, Cornish, Danish, English, Estonian, Filipino, Finnish, French, Friulian, Galician, Gusii, Indonesian, Irish, Italian, Kabuverdianu, Kalenjin, Kinyarwanda, Low German, Luo, Luxembourgish, Luyia, Machame, Makhuwa-Meetto, Makonde, Malagasy, Malay, Manx, Morisyen, North Ndebele, Norwegian Bokmål, Norwegian Nynorsk, Nyankole, Oromo, Portuguese, Romansh, Rombo, Rundi, Rwa, Samburu, Sango, Sangu, Scottish Gaelic, Sena, Shambala, Shona, Soga, Somali, Spanish, Swahili, Swedish, Swiss German, Taita, Teso, Vunjo, Zulu Thank you for using this font. LS

Goldenwick This pair was inspired by lettering at invitation design that i got few weeks ago, it was crafted by hand specially to add natural handmade feeling in its brand identity than i make it clean with pentool. Opentype features Goldenwick font has 207 character set included. This font is very good for design logo, labels, packaging product, invitations, advertising and others, this font will make your design authentic and good looking with modern calligraphy style. If you’re looking for original calligraphy script font for your greeting card and make your design authentic, this item is a great choice to make your design looks great and unique. This fonts works with following languages: Afrikaans, Albanian, Asu, Basque, Bemba, Bena, Chiga, Cornish, Danish, English, Estonian, Filipino, Finnish, French, Friulian, Galician, German, Gusii, Indonesian, Irish, Italian, Kabuverdianu, Kalenjin, Kinyarwanda, Low German, Luo, Luxembourgish, Luyia, Machame, Makhuwa-Meetto, Makonde, Malagasy, Malay, Manx, Morisyen, North Ndebele, Norwegian Bokmål, Norwegian Nynorsk, Nyankole, Oromo, Portuguese, Romansh, Rombo, Rundi, Rwa, Samburu, Sango, Sangu, Scottish Gaelic, Sena, Shambala, Shona, Soga, Somali, Spanish, Swahili, Swedish, Swiss German, Taita, Teso, Vunjo, Zulu Thank you for using this font. LS

If you like old style type, ephemera or victorian era, you must be collect this font , its combination of old and modern touch ,it so adaptable and thats make an eye catching design. This unique and classic font for signage, label, poster, gold leaf, sign painting, branding and the other graphic design made. Gold shine inspired of vintage advertising and sign shop around the world. Goldshine comes with tons of alternates characters to make more eye cacthy . It is suitable for authentic logos, headings, sign painting, posters, letterhead, branding, magazines, album covers, book covers, movies, apparel design, flyers, greeting cards, product packaging, and more. To make everyone enjoyed Goldshine give you one extras font including ornament and traditional badge. If you use Goldshine with you imagination, you just combine with the another font like script , serif or san serif font and adding some effect finally BOOM..!! you get a great design for your project.

We would like to introduce our new Thin Line Geometric Font Runista. Runista is a linear font in folk style, lowercase is decorated with geometric elements. The typeface includes a Decorative and a Symbol version. Letters and symbols are perfectly combined with each other. The font is easy to use in various design programs or without any program. Runista Typeface is suitable for lettering posters, music albums, tattoos and photo overlays in hipster style. The font works great for both printing clothes and craft products branding and packaging. Also use individual letters and symbols to create logos and monograms. Runista Decorative contains stylistic alternates for letters O, Q, C, D, G and the most popular ligatures: bb, cc, dd, ee, ff, gg, ll, mm, nn, oo, pp, rr, ss, tt, zz, ty, ly, ct, sp, st, in, ch, ck, sh, ou, qu, th, ph, ge, ng, gn, gh, au QU. The font has extensive language support.

Many similar fonts existed in Europe around 1900 and a bit before. This one was made at the Wollmer Foundry in Germany and, except for adding the requisite modern monetary symbols and other such niceties, we preserved it quite faithfully.

Sunday Monday font is a cursive, handwritten typeface. It has been crafted using India ink and an old steel pen. I have added some splatter and stain, to give it a 'grungy' look. Sunday Monday comes with kerning and all diacritics.

Pastis is an anise-flavored drink from France - and a lovely font as well. Pastis is an all caps typeface with a different set of glyphs for upper and lower case. Use it for books, posters, ads and product packaging.

SomaSkript is a natural extension to the basic Somatype font design, adding more variety to the family, all of which have similar features. Basically, by widening the uprights and maintaining the thin cross-bars it takes on more of a script-like quality, hence the name. Slanting the letters reinforces the script illusion and consequently brings a broader application to the font’s original format. When designing the Somatype alphabet originally, I always envisaged maximizing on its potential by creating an incised version. This variation not only emphasizes the implied script qualities within the name but brings out the softer, feminine side of the typeface. This evolutionary process creates a different looking font altogether and in turn the slanted version emphasizes the elegant quality even more so.

Introducing Vilanders, a must-have hand-drawn pair script and san serif font collection designed exclusively for graphic designers. With three unique style fonts (regular, rough, and stamp) and an additional 20 hand-drawn motorcycle illustrations, this versatile package is perfect for logo creation, branding, apparel design, and more. Infuse your designs with vintage and stamp font flair and explore the possibilities with Vilanders. Vilanders font features : - 3 style typefaces (regular, rough and stamp) - Uppercase, lowercase, numeral, symbol, punctuation and alternate in script font - All-caps, numeral, symbol and punctuation in sans serif font - Multilingual - PUA Encoded Vilanders includes : - 7 fonts (script, sans serif and dingbat) - 20 hand-drawn illustrations in dingbat

Guitarist, a symbol of freedom and self-confidence. A good font must be enduring and of high quality. This font is simple in shape, and at the same time pays attention to changes in thickness, and strives to be classic and timeless. This font is great for music, fashion, magazines and is very eye-catching. GUITARIST can be matched with various fonts, and the visual effect is very strong. This font is modern and elegant with high-quality details. Designers like listening to jazz very much, looking for freedom, passion, independence, and change in jazz, and integrating these spirits into this font. I hope this font will help your brand be more visible.

Joyful Reason is a delightful and charming Display font that exudes a sense of love and cuteness. With its gentle and playful strokes, this font captures the essence of affection and tenderness. Each letter carries a unique and whimsical touch, resembling handwritten notes filled with love. Joyful Reason is perfect for adding a romantic and joyful touch to various design projects, such as greeting cards, invitations, social media posts, and more. Its lovely and cute characteristics make it an ideal choice for expressing heartfelt emotions in a visually appealing way.

Love Scars is a delightful and charming handwritten font that exudes a sense of love and cuteness. With its gentle and playful strokes, this font captures the essence of affection and tenderness. Each letter carries a unique and whimsical touch, resembling handwritten notes filled with love. Love Scars is perfect for adding a romantic and joyful touch to various design projects, such as greeting cards, invitations, social media posts, and more. Its lovely and cute characteristics make it an ideal choice for expressing heartfelt emotions in a visually appealing way.

Rozelle Fonts are serif fonts with rounded edges. These fonts are formed as a unique multipurpose font, you can use them in vintage, retro, and modern designs. These fonts are perfect for a variety of projects, such as branding, poster displays, logo designs, magazine covers, and more. These fonts are perfect for you who need unique serif fonts! Rozelle fonts feature opentype, kerning, and alternates packed in 4 fonts: Regular, Italic, Bold, Bold-italic. Rozelle fonts include uppercase letters, lowercase letters, numeral, punctuation and multilingual support.

Introducing Dopelton, a signature font that transcends the ordinary, embodying the essence of personal style and sophistication. Crafted with meticulous attention to detail, Dopelton is more than a font; it’s a stroke of individuality, a visual symphony that transforms signatures into works of art. Each letter in Dopelton carries a distinctive flair, reminiscent of a signature penned by a hand writer. The fluid strokes seamlessly merge, creating a harmonious rhythm that captures the art of the handwritten with a contemporary twist. The balance between elegance and readability is finely tuned, making Dopelton versatile for various design purposes. Dopelton is not confined to the limits of static characters; it adapts to the natural flow of the hand, ensuring a unique signature experience every time. The font’s dynamic nature brings authenticity to digital signatures, providing a touch of human warmth in the digital realm. The details of Dopelton are a testament to its craftsmanship. Subtle curves, refined loops, and a tasteful interplay of thick and thin lines give each letter a signature-worthy personality. Whether used for branding, invitations, or personalized stationery, Dopelton adds a touch of refined charm to any project. This signature font is designed to make a statement—bold yet graceful, modern yet timeless. Dopelton is more than a font; it’s an extension of your identity, a signature that leaves a lasting impression. Elevate your designs with Dopelton and let your words carry the unmistakable touch of personalized elegance. FONT FEATURES Additional Accents 68 Languages Kerning Alternates Ligatures Swashes

Combative is perfect for logos and various formal applications such as invitations, labels, magazines, books, greeting cards, packaging, fashion, stationery, novels, and advertising purposes. Combative's unique style and versatility make it suitable for a wide range of design projects. Whether you're looking to create a bold and impactful logo or add a touch of sophistication to your formal designs, Combative has you covered. With its uppercase and lowercase letterforms, Combative offers flexibility and creative freedom. The font also includes numbers, punctuation marks, and supports multiple languages, ensuring that you have all the necessary elements to express your ideas effectively. Combative features PUA Encoding, allowing easy access to additional characters and glyphs, further enhancing your design possibilities. Make a statement with Combative's elegant and eye-catching style. Whether you're working on branding, invitations, magazines, or any formal design project, this font will elevate your creations and leave a lasting impression.

Introduce Gasted font, designed by combining heroism in written artwork, modern fonts for digital and robotic needs, of course, this very elegant and powerful san serif font family, will make your project unique and attractive in its presentation. what are you waiting for, start making your project spectacular This font is perfect for games, sporting events, branding, banners, posters, movie titles, book titles, quotes, clothing, logotypes, and more. of course, your various design projects will be perfect and extraordinary if you use this font because this font is equipped with a complimentary font family, both for titles and subtitles and sentence text. start using our fonts for your amazing projects.

This font creation is inspired by a fairy tale from a modern fantasy country but does not eliminate their culture, a country full of love and peace removes people's minds to commit evil. Hugtophia is a simple typography and easy to read so comfortable to wear. You can use them as logos, badges, badges, packaging, headlines, posters, t-shirts / clothing, greeting cards, business cards, and wedding invitations and more. The flowing character is ideal for creating interesting messages to your taste. mix and match a group of alternate characters to fit your project. It will be more interesting if you add swash. Alternate characters in this font are divided into several OpenType features such as Stylistic Alternate, Ligature and Ligature Alternates. Email support: maculinc@gmail.com Thank you! Maculinc

Digital designs seldom show personal touches to make them stand out and to give unique displays. Generic fonts are no longer enough to do so. You need something special to make great impacts on your work. Therefore, a handwritten font can be the perfect solution to such a necessity. This is the Mightiest Autograph. Mightiest Autograph is a handwritten font in a signature looking style to add elegant, personal nuances on your designs. The curves and wipes in the swinging ends of the letters are the main characters. Like the other cursive fonts, each letter is connected to one another to make the font legible. The letters’ proportions are made different for a more artistic looking style applicable for such romantic texts. You can apply this font for any text sizes due to its great legibility. Additionally, you can enjoy the available features here. Features: Alternates Ligatures Multilingual Supports PUA Encoded Numerals and Punctuations Mightiest Autograph fits best for various design projects, such as brandings, posters, banners, invitations, greeting cards, magazine covers, quotes, printed products, merchandise, logos, social media, etc. Find out more ways to use this font by taking a look at the font preview. Thanks for purchasing our fonts. Hopefully, you have a great time using our font. Feel free to contact us anytime for further information or when you have trouble with the font. Thanks a lot and happy designing.

Hela is a high contrast rounded font with interpolation twist. I have a personal saying that fits this font: So long you drive around nice lettering, until you digitize it. Hela comes from lettering of an old Czech textile company called Helana, which does not exist anymore, but the signage is still on the building. The weird thing on this font is that it does not add weight on every stem from Light to Black as usual, but rather adds more and more black stems to the light skeleton. Another nice thing about this font is that it does not include unnecessary glyphs. So there are just 10 figures - you don't have to think which one is the correct figure kind for you. There is just one kind. No alternates, no italics, no opentype features - even no lowercase. Well, who would use it anyway, it is a display font! Try it yourself with Basic character set for free.

Aisiteru is an awesome Japanese-inspired display font. It has great readability and will add a striking touch to any design! Masterfully designed to become a true favorite, this font has the potential to bring each of your creative ideas to the highest level! It will look awesome on any T-shirt, logo, film, anime, movie, youtube thumbnail, print, or restaurant brand! This font is PUA encoded which means you can access all of the awesome glyphs with ease! It also features a wealth of special features including ligatures.

Happy Monday is a retro and bold display font. Use this display font to add that special retro touch to any design idea you can think of!. Masterfully designed to become a true favorite, this font has the potential to bring each of your creative ideas to the highest level! Very suitable for logotype, Stickers, Packaging design, Cricut Project, headlines, brand identity, t shirt or apparel industry, posters, magazines, books, YouTube, Instagram, websites, or any of your creative design projects. Tutorial how to Install & use Alternate / Special Character : https://hanscostudio.com/tutorial/ Enjoy!

Stengkol Font Family of 20 fonts and 1 font cowboy illustration. Slab serif with various font styles with layered fonts. It's easy to use various fonts in one design and combined with cowboy illustrations. Stengkol Font Family comes with: - Uppercase. - Lowercase. - Numerals. - Punctuation. - Multilingual. Stengkol Font Family is perfect for t-shirt designs, merchandise, posters, qoute, tickets, logotype and other designs. Thanks.

Park Wilson This pair was inspired by vintage design that i saw at coffe shop, it was crafted by hand specially to add natural handmade feeling in its brand identity than i make it clean with pentool. Opentype features Park Wilson font has 183 character set included. This font is very good for design logo, labels, packaging product, invitations, advertising and others. This font will make your design authentic, unique and good looking with modern calligraphy style. If you're looking for unique serif decorative font, this item is a great choice to make your design looks great and unique. This fonts works with following languages: Afrikaans, Albanian, Asu, Basque, Bemba, Bena, Chiga, Cornish, Danish, English, Estonian, Filipino, Finnish, French, Friulian, Galician, German, Gusii, Indonesian, Irish, Italian, Kabuverdianu, Kalenjin, Kinyarwanda, Low German, Luo, Luxembourgish, Luyia, Machame, Makhuwa-Meetto, Makonde, Malagasy, Malay, Manx, Morisyen, North Ndebele, Norwegian Bokmål, Norwegian Nynorsk, Nyankole, Oromo, Portuguese, Romansh, Rombo, Rundi, Rwa, Samburu, Sango, Sangu, Scottish Gaelic, Sena, Shambala, Shona, Soga, Somali, Spanish, Swahili, Swedish, Swiss German, Taita, Teso, Vunjo, Zulu Thank you for using this font. LS

Xylo Macloud This pair was inspired by wallpaper design that i saw at my friend's garage, it was crafted by hand specially to add natural handmade feeling in its brand identity than i make it clean with pentool. Opentype features Xylo Macloud font has 204 character set included. This font is very good for design logo, labels, packaging product, invitations, advertising and others. This font will make your design authentic, unique and good looking with modern calligraphy style. If you're looking for authentic decorative serif font, this item is a great choice to make your design looks great, unique and authentic. This fonts works with following languages: Afrikaans, Albanian, Asu, Basque, Bemba, Bena, Chiga, Cornish, Danish, English, Estonian, Filipino, Finnish, French, Friulian, Galician, German, Gusii, Indonesian, Irish, Italian, Kabuverdianu, Kalenjin, Kinyarwanda, Low German, Luo, Luxembourgish, Luyia, Machame, Makhuwa-Meetto, Makonde, Malagasy, Malay, Manx, Morisyen, North Ndebele, Norwegian Bokmål, Norwegian Nynorsk, Nyankole, Oromo, Portuguese, Romansh, Rombo, Rundi, Rwa, Samburu, Sango, Sangu, Scottish Gaelic, Sena, Shambala, Shona, Soga, Somali, Spanish, Swahili, Swedish, Swiss German, Taita, Teso, Vunjo, Zulu Thank you for using this font. LS

Bellamind This pair was inspired by vintage poster at music store that i saw few weeks ago, it was crafted by hand specially to add natural handmade feeling in its brand identity than i make it clean with pentool. Opentype features Bellamind font has 219 character set included. This font is very good for design logo, labels, packaging product, invitations, advertising and others. This font will make your design authentic, unique and good looking with modern calligraphy style. If you're looking for unique serif decorative font, this item is a great choice to make your design looks great and unique. This fonts works with following languages: Afrikaans, Albanian, Asu, Basque, Bemba, Bena, Chiga, Cornish, Danish, English, Estonian, Filipino, Finnish, French, Friulian, Galician, German, Gusii, Indonesian, Irish, Italian, Kabuverdianu, Kalenjin, Kinyarwanda, Low German, Luo, Luxembourgish, Luyia, Machame, Makhuwa-Meetto, Makonde, Malagasy, Malay, Manx, Morisyen, North Ndebele, Norwegian Bokmål, Norwegian Nynorsk, Nyankole, Oromo, Portuguese, Romansh, Rombo, Rundi, Rwa, Samburu, Sango, Sangu, Scottish Gaelic, Sena, Shambala, Shona, Soga, Somali, Spanish, Swahili, Swedish, Swiss German, Taita, Teso, Vunjo, Zulu Thank you for using this font. LS

Hicken Witch This pair was inspired by vintage flyer that i saw few weeks ago, it was crafted by hand specially to add natural handmade feeling in its brand identity than i make it clean with pentool. Opentype features Hicken Witch font has 209 character set included. This font is very good for design logo, labels, packaging product, invitations, advertising and others. This font will make your design authentic, unique and good looking with modern calligraphy style. If you're looking for unique serif decorative font, this item is a great choice to make your design looks great and unique. This fonts works with following languages: Afrikaans, Albanian, Asu, Basque, Bemba, Bena, Chiga, Cornish, Danish, English, Estonian, Filipino, Finnish, French, Friulian, Galician, German, Gusii, Indonesian, Irish, Italian, Kabuverdianu, Kalenjin, Kinyarwanda, Low German, Luo, Luxembourgish, Luyia, Machame, Makhuwa-Meetto, Makonde, Malagasy, Malay, Manx, Morisyen, North Ndebele, Norwegian Bokmål, Norwegian Nynorsk, Nyankole, Oromo, Portuguese, Romansh, Rombo, Rundi, Rwa, Samburu, Sango, Sangu, Scottish Gaelic, Sena, Shambala, Shona, Soga, Somali, Spanish, Swahili, Swedish, Swiss German, Taita, Teso, Vunjo, Zulu Thank you for using this font. LS

Le Vangeline - is a romantic calligraphy font, with classic root and elegant touch. It is perfect for any projects such as : logos, branding projects, homeware designs, product packaging, mugs, quotes, posters, shopping bags, t-shirts, book covers, name card, invitation cards, greeting cards, label, photography, watermark, special events, and all your other lovely projects that need a beautiful script taste. Add it to your most creative ideas and notice how it makes them come alive! Features : · All Uppercase and Lowercase · Number & Symbol · Supported Languages · Alternates and Ligatures · PUA Encoded

Anghones Script is a simple typeface - easy to read and comfortable to wear! You can use them as logos, badges, badges, packaging, headlines, posters, t-shirts / clothing, greeting cards, business cards, and wedding invitations and more. The flowing characters are ideal for creating interesting messages to your taste. Mix and match a group of alternate characters to fit your project. It will be more interesting if you add swashes! Alternate characters in this font are divided into several OpenType features such as Stylistic Alternates, Ligatures and Ligature Alternates. Email support: maculinc@gmail.com Thank you! -Maculinc

Golvin Six is ​​a fun, cool and retro style. Comes with 4 unique bold and outline serif styles, a regular style with consistent thickness and stability, another with a wavy style that makes your design project more unique. Golvin Six can easily fit into a very large range of projects such as posters, book covers, logotypes, stickers and much more, so add it to your creative ideas and watch how it makes it stand out! I hope you have a blast using Golvin Six Thanks for use this font ~ Khaiuns X zelowtype

Munky, a big bowl full of slab serif goodness. It's got a cheeky, playful look with large, heavy serifs. Its shapes have a few kinks here and there. I would say that adds to its charm—and it does. It's great for headlines and titles but is also very legible in sentence case. It works great for branding and packaging, books, invitations and anything where you want a laid-back vibe—without being too childish. If the font were a celebrity, it would be more John Candy than John Malkovich.